EDIT: I did a massive friends cut and I'm not really adding anyone atm, unless I know you in real life or I love you dearly. Sorry about that.

we got up super early today and went to a car boot at weatherby, bought OS maps and jeff bought a star wars video game. Didnt find the vintage telephone for the house i was craving.

Then we decided to go to howden hill, it pissed it down the whole way and then when we got there we emerged in a break in the storm and climbed the hill in beautiful sunshine whilst thunder storms sounded all around us in the middle distance. Was a bit weird. Village was cutesy too...must go back at some point.

Howden hill was beautiful, much smaller than i expected and perfectly shaped, lots of butterflies and pretty trees around it, felt very girly. thought we couldnt see blakely topping but actually it turns out we did see it and dismissed it as a very strange hill. It is a very strange hill. I didnt take my camera though, boo.

then we had sandwiches at the MOST murder mystery country hotel, which was nice and i fed the ducks my crusts but the geese came after us, plus all around the pond were TINY TINY FROGS in the hundreds so we picked them up and made them swim, mwahaha...


afterwards we went to the bay where they got the rudston monolith something beginning with C. It was pretty and sunny and misty and me and briony paddled. Briony poked a jellyfish, and we punished it by carrying it around on a spade...dont worry we released it afterwards....

EDIT:

One of the hills is man made, one is natural. I still cant get a straight answer to which is which.

http://www.themodernantiquarian.com/img_fullsize/16192.jpg
blakey

http://www.themodernantiquarian.com/img_fullsize/16158.jpg
howden

of the two howden hill looks most natural in the landscape and is a more natural shape, but howden hill is just....huge, seriously massive. It looks artificial though...i just cant believe its smaller than silbury!



actually all i can find suggesting either could be man made are some vague comments in the MA book. damn. Both could very probably be natural...but blakey topping possibly could be flattened at the summit. hmm (howden hill top image, blakey bottom)

Have been doing some reading to make a more concerted effort to either fully self-initiate or figure out what exactly ritual-wise i feel entirely happy with.

Reading list - books i need:

Margaret murray -  God of the Witches + the witch cults of western europe
Alex owen - The place of enchantenment
Alan Richardson - Dancers to the gods
robert graves - the white goddess
Florence Farr -  various texts...
Dion Fortune - the goat-foot god/ moon magic

on the waiting list for two puppies

http://www.turnwillgsds.co.cc/

they were one of our favourite breeders too, there aren't many long haired GSD breeders around that are any good. So october time we should have two gorgeous little girls, yay.

its actually quite hard, im trying to be unemotional about it to an extent otherwise i'd be guilted into getting a rescue german shepherd which is a terrible idea. Ideally I would like to but given that we could possibly have children within the next 5 years theres no way i'd ever be able to give up a dog and if it wasnt ok with children, which theres really no way of knowing with a rescue dog, then I just wouldnt be able to keep it. Of course no dog is 100% ok with children, but some dogs are a lot less predictable. And sung and jeff have never owned dogs, so an unpredictable dog would be bad since sung is pretty scared of animals atm, i think getting a puppy will cure it since its purely because hes a city boy who didnt see a cow untill he was 22. When im older i'll definitely have a few rescue german shepherds so I dont feel too bad about it.

So for now, I want a good, strong bouncy girl, and briony wants one too so naturally we want them from the same litter. My last dog Bonnie was a long hair mix so she was really fluffy, which was nice, but she moulted a lot, which could be bad for jeffs allergies. I wanted one from a working dog line rather than a show dog line because I dont like the exaggerated low hips and associated health problems, but working dog lines are usually police dog lines and they can be quite hard to buy from.  Its actually proving a lot harder to buy a puppy here up north, german shepherds seem a lot more in demand here.

its really hard not to just want to go and buy the first puppy available, but I have to consider sooo many things! Plus the few breeders i've eventually emailed have none left, boo.

these are my current selections:

http://www.clynalwin.co.uk/for_sale.html

in derby so not far, they are unfortunately show breeders which puts me off quite a lot. The hip score isnt quite what i was after but the sholders are perfect. I emailed her today anyway.

http://www.champdogs.co.uk/

these look perfect, long hairs and really the sire rio is so perfect! If the puppies are just like him i'd take them no matter what. They are in sussex though, bugger. Still, its worth travelling to get that kind of cutie. Might email her now just to check if theres still any girls left...

went ok, i think we did it pretty well considering everything. Vicar did my nut in. flowers were amazing though, was really, really happy with them. I wouldnt have been able to get through this week without briony though. Wore victorian maiden dress in the end....and shoes that i couldnt walk in. ah well.

I'll write about everything properly when i actually have proper internet access.

In completely unrelated news I'm pretty annoyed that a commision i ordered ages ago is still nowhere to be seen. kyodomo apparently took on too much work. Is anyone else having problems with her? I already opened a dispute but still nothing has appeared...

thanks for all the messages btw x

I did everything today....but dad is insisting on black attire and i told everyone to wear colour. also i dont actually have a black dress suitable to wear. any suggestions? funeral at 2 on monday.

mum died today at 9.50ish this morning, thanks for all your messages it was peaceful when it happened and im glad i was with her...it was horrible and i dont think i want to write about it yet but she really wanted to die at that point so as much as i miss her im just glad shes not hurting anymore. I havent slept in days so im not thinking especially clearly atm but i do feel really calm and glad i had the chance to tell her some things before she went.

worried about dad, and nana...

back in stafford for a while now, mum has just a week or so left. We've been trying to spend as much time as possible with her but it does take it out of you. ATM shes really confused and thinks we are causing trouble in the hospital or some rubbish. We had a good night with her on monday though, so we are trying to focus on the nice things she said then rather than the weird stuff now. Hospice tomorrow though so hopefully it will be calmer. trying to arrange funeral stuff...moddershall graveyard which is a maybe so far and other stuff like wills, her pension and what have you.

I wanted a christina rossetti poem on her gravestone but i cant pick between dreamland and requiem.

DREAM LAND

Where sunless rivers weep
Their waves into the deep,
She sleeps a charmed sleep:
     Awake her not.
Led by a single star,
     She came from very far
To seek where shadows are
     Her pleasant lot.

She left the rosy morn,
She left the fields of corn,
For twilight cold and lorn
     And water springs.
Through sleep, as through a veil,
She sees the sky look pale,
And hears the nightingale
     That sadly sings.

Rest, rest, a perfect rest
Shed over brow and breast;
Her face is toward the west,
     The purple land.
She cannot see the grain
Ripening on hill and plain;
She cannot feel the rain
     Upon her hand.

Rest, rest, for evermore
Upon a mossy shore;
Rest, rest at the heart's core
     Till time shall cease:
Sleep that no pain shall wake;
Night that no morn shall break
Till joy shall overtake
     Her perfect peace.

REQUIEM

When I am dead, my dearest,
    Sing no sad songs for me:
Plant thou no roses at my head,
     Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
     With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
     And if thou wilt, forget.

 

I shall not see the shadows,
     I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
     Sing on, as if in pain;
And dreaming through the twilight
     That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
     And haply may forget.

both are pretty...i dont know.

Had the worst migaine for about four days, got some really good painkillers today though.

the new house is awesome but no internet yet so im just snatching bits when i can. Otherwise things are chaotic!

the 33a takes an age. I am so bored...then its going home as well. MEH

I would love to catch swine flu right now. Work is an ass.

we took some legal highs called purple ohms, it made me want to hug everything and also i was super paranoid and shouted a lot....quite fun!



the camping place was amazing, like all the coolest things you could do to a farm if you werent actually a farmer....but allegedly they were, weird.



we wore fairy wings and masks and pastels, also it was freezing and we didnt sleep at all due to the immense cold whilst we were camping, oh noes! it meant we didnt sleep for well over 24 hours, which sucks. I had a cracking migraine all day today due to this.



we also wore our VW shoes and some little girl was like 'where did you get your shoes' and we told her and presumably she ran off to her mum to say 'i want vivienne westwood shoes mum!'....lol...



i look really bulky around the middle due to layers :/





we didnt take those massive purple roses off but if we ever do a real photoshoot with these i will! I think these will be our festival wings rather than ones for photoshoots though cos they dont work well with the camera, i think the green would stand out more if there wasnt so much green everywhere else but lol, if we do a fairy shoot its going to be a lot of green. I want to figure out how to make those fantasy film ones anyway :)



The actual festival wasnt as fun, probably cos we were so tired/hungry/got lost trying to find a petrol station that wasnt derelict on the way.



we sat on the grass and marvelled at the size that crushed velvet cloaks come in.

Me and briony decided though that we needed real velvet capes in reversable black w/ embroidered silver stars and pale pink/blue (me pink her blue) w/ embroidered blossom. I dunno where we could get these though, maybe its a sewing project we can work on. freehand embroidery might be a little tricky though :/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tacobelle/3449710791/

IDK, i didnt like the tone of this girls comment at all so i got a little defensive. So many people have said stuff about these outfits along the lines of 'oh thats cute where can i buy this?' and im all like 'dont buy this, dont make it, make something different plz'. lol.

Im so glad its a four day week, im still so tired!

Lhude sing cuccu! off for the weekend tomorrow morning, beltane fest should be fun. Would like to take beltane pics for our wheel of the year project at druids temple but hmm, we cant think of outfits for definite. We are wearing lilac and mint and ivy and fairy wings and masks for actual beltane though. Perhaps next year we can have some lovely may queen outfits for the temple.

look what we made! green man masks...We made two for beltane.



and two of these as well.

http://www.sacredbrigantia.com

we're going.....it might suck, dont judge me. we need some fecking fairy wings asap, but we cant find any nice ones that arent around 70 squiddles. Where can i get some? dont say make them yourself, i tried that, much swearing ensued. Plus we made the green man masks tonight and they are shit hot so im all crafted out. I dont mind some decent plainer ones that we can glue stuff on though....

( another photo )</div>

I really am. Briony is too though.

Obviously I'm hypocritical, its called having human emotions you might wanna try it some time :)

Velcro rollers = big pile of crap. So we're rethinking hair altogether, mebbe the loops of plaits we tried a few months back for some outfit or the other.

My journal seems to be getting a lot of traffic lately, and I havent been posting as many photos. So heres some of my faves from flickr. not mine, i might add!

Briony found the best biblical quote.

So our plans for this weekend are thwarted due to momma going back in hospital with pneumonia. Shes in isolation and doesnt want to risk more infection by us going down, which is fair enough. She sounded better on the phone even though she was coughing, so thats good. We had plans for next weekend though, so im wondering whether to try go down for a day in the week. I will try and go down the weekend after either way, so i'll see how shes feeling in a few days and leave it at that for now.

We made really cute rose combs with pearls yesterday, and we bought supplies to make green man masks for beltane at hobbycraft/craftwise today. Ivy and hawthorn blossom! I think it'll work with our folky skirts, untill i can afford to get our ultimate folky lolita outfits made. We saw some cuper cute dresses in george today which would look cute for casual attire, black with roses across the front. also these:

http://direct.asda.com/george/women-s-clothing/dresses/bird-print-dress/GEM9278,default,pd.html


So because of the change to the weekend plans we want to try and take some of the military photos this weekend. I have borrowed the COOLEST huge old union jack flag + flag bearer thing for the photos, I'm still really unsure about taking an air rifle to a nature reserve to take photos, lol. We might be better just taking the rifle to BLF for that part of it, but there are a few shots i'd like to use it for at spurn point. I have some vintage military surveying equiptment to use in some but binoculors would be better, at least for the bunkers. Sung was having a go at me earlier because it costs too much/we are spending too much money, and yeah maybe i shouldnt want to spend money/time doing something as pointless as this but its fun and i'd rather do it than sit on my fat ass watching tv every weekend. I have so many ideas for photos! I always forget everything i planned everytime cos its a rush when we get there (like the ostara spring thing, none of the shots i planned worked right in the place we picked so i gave up right away) but its worth it for taking photos that i like, maybe....also i want to get these photos done, cos its been soooo long since we started wanting to do it.

so yeah tomorrow we plan to find hat pins and also find an old lady salon who will do our hair 40s style (also, cheap, im poor) and hopefully thats everything, i had lost one of the sodding bows from the front of my military skirt somewhere in my house, but luckily i found it the other day, woo!

http://www.bustledress.com/cgi-bin/z.pl/item.lisa0001-20090314-01.html

adorable but

http://www.bustledress.com/cgi-bin/z.pl/item.lisa0001-20090207-04.html

ahhhhh i want to pretend its a crow-bie fan!!!